Rental Car Return by Louis C. K.

I rented a car a couple weeks ago, in Los Angeles

I had the car for a few days and then when I went home I had to drop the car at the rental place.

You gotta go to the rental place that's off the airport, give them the car, give them your thing with the mileage.

You gotta get on a bus and then go to your terminal and check in.

I was late and I was worried about missing my flight.

So I knew I had no time to do any of that. So I just. I never did this before, I just drove my car right to the terminal and just left it there.

Then I got on the plane. Once I got on the plane and had a moment I called Hertz and I said, Hey, listen, your car is sitting out in front of terminal four and the keys are in it.

So, that's where it is." And the guy's like, "You can't do that."

"You have to return it to the location and then get"

Well, I didn't do that already, and now I'm leaving California.

So if you want your car you need to go to that place where it is.

And he was like, "Awww, Jesus man."

"Well, alright. We'll get it."

And he. That was the end of it.

And I realized I could do this every time, every time I rented a car.

Because of course they want you to do all that shit.

But if you don't they still want the car back.

They're going to send a dude. You could drive a car until you don't want it.

Just get out of it while it's moving and just walk away.

No, I don't feel like beingin that car any longer. Just call Hertz.

Hi, your car is drifting into the intersection of 28th and Broadway, if you're interested.